Week 12 Blog

I have often been in situations where miscommunication occurs. I feel that miscommunication happens often when I first meet people, because I am shy and sometimes people interpret my shyness as snobbery. Another example that used to happen often occurred between my sister and me. My sister will often make dry jokes that I have trouble distinguishing as being jokes. If her comments were not jokes, they could be offense and this is where our miscommunication lies. I would sometimes get offended when she intended her comment to be funny and it was funny once I examined it in a different light. My sister is good at keeping a straight face when she makes these jokes and so I was never able to read her body language or facial expressions to interpret the meaning she intending to send. These miscommunications offer occurred when I was younger and I had not developed all of my communication skills. Also, I was not as close to my sister when I was younger and so I did not know her as well. Now that we are close, I am able to recognize her joking facial expressions versus her angry or serious facial expressions. We would always immediately recognize when we interpreted things differently, because I would get upset and my sister would be confused. She would explain that she was joking and then we would realize that we miscommunicated the comment. We would try to talk about it so that it would not happen again. I think that the best way to communicate is to use language that is clear and appropriate to the situation.

Have you ever experienced miscommunication? How did it affect you and your relationship with that particular person? What techniques or methods did you use in order to overcome this miscommunication? Does it happen anymore with that particular person?

Week 11 Blog

I believe that people perceive themselves differently than others do. I have found that people tend to be much more critical about their own flaws or differences than they are about other peoples’ flaws. For example, two girls who weigh about the same about will think that they personally are fat, but the other similar girl is not. But in reality, the both weigh the same or wear the same pants size and the only thing that differs is how they perceive themselves. I think that putting effort in your presenting self can help improve your confidence level. Personally, I feel better about my presenting self, when I treat myself to a new cute top or take the time to tame my mane of hair. I really think that the way we perceive others and the world all comes down to our own attitude. If you are going to look for the negative parts of yourself, you are going to find them, just as you would find the positive parts of your perceived self if you look for them. Perception is a powerful tool that can affect a person’s entire world. Perception is also something that we can attempt to change or control in order to make ourselves happier within in our own skin. My perceived self is very self conscious about saying the wrong thing to new acquaintances and I used to constantly rehearse conversations in my head in order to insure that what I said could only have one perceived meaning. People will always perceive situations differently than us, because we are all different, and once you change your perception of the world, the world becomes what you want it to be.

Have you ever been in a situation where you said something that you meant one way, but someone else perceived it as meaning something completely different? How did it make you feel?

Week 10 Blog

Perceptions of the world around us happen continually. They happen so fast that it is hard to catch them and analyze them. Everyone has personal bias that influence their perceptions and it is a skill to be able to recognize these biases and challenge the perceptions you perceive based on the biases. I believe that all of the categories listed above are important aspects that influence a person’s perception. Every one perceives certain things about a person based on their physical appearance, for example, if a girl is wearing a short skirt, one might assume that she has low standards, or if a guy is tall, one might assume that he is an amazing basketball player. These assumptions could be correct or incorrect, but they were made off of a person’s physical appearance. Based on a person’s personal psychological state and cultural background, the person will perceive the world in different ways. For example, if someone is depressed, they will view the world as depressing and hopeless, but if someone is happy, they will view the world as enjoyable. A person from a different cultural background might perceive different meaning from a common symbol or gesture, like a nod of the head. All of these factors affect the way we perceive everything, because they are drilled into our heads from a very young age by the media and society (family, friends) in general. Some general stereotypes that affect our daily perceptions include all basketball players are tall, all people who grew up in a lower class neighborhood are stupid, all blondes are dumb, etc. It is import to be aware of your perceptions so you can analyze and understand them and see how the factors influence them.

Can you think of a situation where your perception was wrong? How will you prevent that situation from happening again?

Week 9 Blog

I have attended quite a few speeches with the majority of them being within the classroom setting. I always find the speeches that are held outside of the classroom to be more effective, because they are not assigned for points, but done out of an actual interest in the topic. I think that speakers outside of school usually demonstrate the most credible emotional appeals, logical appeals, and the most credible needs-based appeals. Again, I think they are able to do this because they are performing the speech out of interest; they are not being forced by a class. I think I will have to mix the interest in my speech while still remembering that I am being graded and need to meet certain requirements. In order to do this, I will pick a topic that I enjoy and will give my speech somewhat out of interest in the topic and somewhat because I have to give it. I will also pick a topic that my audience can relate to and that way hopefully they will feel a little bit more involved or interested in my speech and opinion. I plan to use logical appeals the most because I find them to be the most effective, because they have concrete facts and evidence to support the appeal. Next I plan to use needs-based appeals, because I believe that they the second most effective. Also, we all have very similar physical, safety, social, and self-esteem needs, so my audience will be able to easily relate to my appeal. I plan to use emotional appeals rarely, if at all, because I believe that people’s emotion change continually and are not as solid as a fact or a need. Hopefully, these elements as well as watching other speakers will help me to create a good speech.

What has been the most influential speech you have heard? Why do you think it was so influential?

Week 5 Blog

The most unproductive group, or in this case team, that I have been a part of was my senior lacrosse team. During my junior year, I started playing lacrosse and I loved it. My junior year team was made up of experienced, dedicated, and focused players. Unfortunately, the majority of the dedicated players were seniors and would not be returning for the next season. At the end of my junior year, my lacrosse team was sanctioned by my school, and it went from being a club sport to a high school sport. This meant that my senior year, my team would be playing against more experienced and established teams. My senior team was made up mostly of lazy underclassmen. They would show up to practice late, they would not hustle, and they would complain constantly. My coach could not make it to practice on time, because of her job, so she would expect the team to do warm-ups by ourselves until she arrived. Most of the team would sit on the sidelines and watch the rest of the team warm up. On top of their poor attitudes and work ethic, my team lost nearly every game during that season, which led to low team morale and low group identity. With weeks left in the season, the varsity goalie quit and the team fell to pieces. My senior year team was a disaster and it almost robbed me of my love for the game of lacrosse. From this experience, I learned the importance of dedication, team unity, organization, and equal sharing of responsibility. In terms of productive groups, I always think of school project groups, but none of those stand out as being overly productive.

What is the most productive group you have been a part of and why do you think it was so productive?

Week 4 Blog

Nonverbal behaviors and the ability to correctly read and understand them is a very difficult skill to master. Nonverbal cues consist of every behavior, attribute, or object (except words) that a person exhibits. An example of a nonverbal behavior would be an eye roll. In a certain situation, an eye roll can mean that the person is annoyed. In another situation, it can mean that the person is frustrated, and in yet another situation, it can mean that a person is playfully teasing a friend or family member. For example, I roll my eyes sometimes when I think something funny. An eye roll can mean many different things, depending on the context of the situation and the person or people involved. It is difficult to pick a correct interpretation without being in the context of the situation, and even then, you are not guaranteed to pick the correct interpretation. This is why nonverbal cues are so hard to read and understand. Another example would be body language. Some people cross their arms across their front which usually signifies that they are putting up a barrier, because they are uncomfortable or want to create some distance between themselves and other people. I frequently cross my arms, because I am cold, and it is often misread that I am uncomfortable with the situation I am in. At other times, though, I cross my arms because I am uncomfortable in the situation. Sometimes, I even have to stop and think to myself “why did I just do that,” which further demonstrates how complicated nonverbal cues are, because sometimes the person giving the cue is aware or sure why they are even doing it. Nonverbal cues are hard to fake and used extremely frequently, which is why it is a useful skill to know how to read others nonverbal cues.

Can you think of other example of nonverbal cues and how they are often misread or misinterpreted?

Week 3 Blog

I have had many situations where I feel like I am not being heard. I am the youngest of four children. Growing up I was quiet and shy, and my brothers gave me the nickname Ant. My brothers gave me my nickname as a joke, but they did not understand how it affected me. All through my childhood I felt that what I had to say was not important. Whenever I tried to express what I was feeling, my brothers would call me Ant, and I would immediately shut my mouth. I receded more into my shell. Feeling like what you have to say is not worthwhile to other people is an awful feeling. Some of the listening barriers were present. For example, I think my brothers found what I had to say uninteresting and they often criticized me, the speaker, instead of my message. My brothers also would fake attention and they would fail to adjust to distractions. My situation is unique, because siblings have the ability to be kind of mean to each other and still be friends. Also, this situation was not in an academic setting. From my experiences, I have learned to always try to listen attentively, so that no one I’m listening to has to feel like they are not worthwhile. My nickname is no longer Ant, and my brothers and I have both matured to the point where we can effectively listen to one another.

Also, I have sat through many unorganized uninteresting presentations, and it makes me feel like I’m wasting my time. An example would be a lab class that I have taken here at UW-River Falls; the professor was always unorganized and unprepared for our weekly lab. I found it harder to pay attention and retain the material, because I was easily distracted and bored. I think organization can make a presentation, because when you are prepared, it shows the audience that you actually care about your presentation, which inspires a similar interest in the audience.